whereismycow

Name: Meagan

Preferred pronoun: She/Her

Preferred means of contact: My tumblr is megaparsecs, aim's megaparsecsyo, and email is sentienthair@gmail.com. I check all three pretty much constantly. 

Any other characters currently in-game?: Nope!

 

 

 

 

Name:  Sam Vimes (Well, okay, technically it's His Grace, Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh, Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch but he's not overly fond of those appellations.) 

Source: The Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett. 

Canon point: Before Young Sam is born because I am unable to do something as horrible as inadvertently kill off Little Sam. (I'm thinking in between "Men at Arms" and "Jingo," so the Watch is larger and Sybil and Vimes are married.) 

Gender: Male

Age: Vaguely fifty-ish. 

Colour: #DF3A01

Chumhandle: insertnameHere I realize that doesn't QUITE fit the correct pattern, but someone suggested this when I popped into the JJ chat and I couldn't resist. If this strays too far from the format, I'll go with regicideRampant. 

History: Sam Vimes grew up in the Shades, potentially the most dangerous place in Ankh-Morpork (besides wherever Cut-Me-Own-Throat-Dibbler's cart happens to be residing at the moment). He had little formal education, and at an early age joined a street gang or seven. In his teens, he signed up to be in the Night Watch (the red-haired stepchild of the Proper Police Force in Ankh-Morpork, the Watch). Unfortunately, he decided to join in the noble fight between order and chaos right before the Glorious Revolution.

 

The People's Revolution of the Glorious Twenty-Fifth of May (motto: Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love, and a Hard-Boiled Egg!) was a defining moment for young Sam Vimes. It's during this incredibly brief conflict that he learns everything he needs to know about police work from Sergeant John Keel. It's during this time that he sees monarchs and aristocracy use their power to hurt and kill good honest people. It's during this time that he figures out what his idea of justice really is, and that oftentimes the world is a lot more complicated than just "we're the law so that means we're the good guys, no matter what."

 

Somehow, between his formative experience in the Glorious Revolution and by his first canonical appearance in Guards! Guards! he'd made Captain of the Night Watch. Which would be impressive, if the Night Watch consisted of more than Sergeant Colon, Corporal Nobbs, and Lance-Constable Carrot. He'd also managed to become a raging alcoholic. 

 

Sam, in Guards! Guards!, had reached the absolute fucking end of his rope. But a combination of the fresh air Carrot brings to the Watch and the coup that leads to a dragon becoming king (God he hates kings) stirs him to action. He gives up the bottle, and gains the respect of Vetinari, who promotes him to Commander and increases the size and resources of the Watch. 

 

Sometime around when Sam was attempting to usurp a dragon-king, he met Lady Sybil Ramkin, the richest woman in Ankh-Morpork. She's - in Vimes's words - so rich she can afford to be poor. Sybil tromps around in hand me down clothes and ancient boots, runs a rescue shelter for abandoned pet dragons, and is on a first name basis with the Patrician. 

 

Naturally, they get married.

 

And that takes us right up to the point Vimes is at when he enters the Inciphisphere. In canon, of course, there's still time traveling escapades and the Wandering Dark and king-arresting and his first child ahead of him, but we'll ignore all that for now. 

 

Personality:  Vimes is, first and foremost, an angry stubborn bastard who'll never budge an inch, even if that inch is the difference between life and death for him.

 

He's also known for his incredible temper. His rage is, if the right buttons are pushed, vast and unfathomably powerful. Vimes has spent a long time reining this anger in, and sometimes he polices himself by forcing himself to consider what is right vs. what he wishes he could do.  

 

Vimes is vehemently anti-royalty. His position on nobility could probably be summed up in a quote from yoisthisracist: "Yo fuck anyone who has ever murdered anyone to perpetuate an aristocracy." The Vimes's are known for killing kings, and Sam has inherited his regicidal ancestor's name, "Stoneface." 

 

Vimes is a strong believer in law, and justice. He sees adherence to the law as a great equalizer, a way for the poorest widow and the richest lord to be judged and treated on the same level. 

 

Despite all of his faults, Sam has a good heart. He's got a soft spot for the poor and downtrodden, and for kids. He grew up in pretty shitty conditions (his mum did her best, bless her heart) and was involved in gangs at a young age. He knows what it's like to eat the promise of food for dinner for nights on end. 

 

Abilities & physical limitations: Physical capabilities of your standard human who's had three decades of experience being a copper. Essentially, can outrun anyone. 

 

Also, Vimes is totally incorruptible. Doesn't matter how large the bribe or dire the circumstances, Vimes can't be turned from the pursuit of justice. 

 

Since the Disc is just now entering the printing press era, and Vimes isn't the most technologically savvy person, he's without a computer for most/all of his session. Instead, he runs the discs off of, and communicates in pesterlogs and memos with, his persistently irritating Goosberry. 

 

Appearance: Thin, balding, scruffy as all hell. Looks like he's sustained himself on a diet of BLTs (minus the L and T) and Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler's sausage-inna-bun for the past two years, and hasn't gotten a good night's sleep in longer. (He looks this way because that is, in fact, precisely what's happened.) Wears a grimy and dented Watch uniform whenever he can get away with it. 

 

Notable AU differences, if applicable: N/A. 

 

 

 

Strife Specibus: axekind

Prototyping:  Vimes, to his great distress, accidentally prototypes Cecil Wormsborough St. John Nobbs (Corporal Nobby Nobbs to you, mate) who remains the only man Vimes knows of who has to carry around papers proving he's human. Nobby is not exactly the most helpful of sprites. 

Title: Guard of Dark

In-game abilities: "Guard" is a passive class, primarily concerned with protecting - either a person or element from the outside world or, more commonly, protecting the outside world from a person or element. 

 

"Dark" is, as the name might imply, the opposite of "Light," so instead of "Fortune," it's "Misfortune." For Vimes, this means his role is, essentially, keeping misfortune from happening to those around him, or containing it to specific groups or individuals. 

 

Planet: Land of Smog and Streets

 

Luckily, we've actually gotten to see the inside of Vimes's brains in canon. After spending so much time patrolling Ankh-Morpork, his mindscape is literally the streets of the city, in the dead of night, while it's pouring rain. 

 

As such, I've modled my idea of what Vimes's planet would look like after this. I figure there's probably enough lands of open spaces and nature and all that malarky in-game already, and besides, this looks cool as all hell. The result of Corporal Nobby Nobbs's untimely prototyping is that all of the enemies are rather stout, boil-covered fellows. Generally unpleasant to look at, and prone to scarper if there's a commotion, or to try and stab you from behind. 

 

Vimes's consorts are the natural progression of a species of rat that's spent too much time hanging about the Unseen University or drinking the river water. Big, ornery, with the ability to speak and a pathological fear of dwarves and ketchup. 

 

I know that JarJammed's Sherlock also has rats as denizens, so if you'd like me to change this to something else, I totally can. It just seems like a good fit for a land that closely resembles a place like Ankh-Morpork. 

 

Vimes's denizen, Eris, is rearranging the streets and twisting around the whole cartography of the planet to suit her own machinations, leaving the consorts confused, disoriented, and more than a little pissed. 

 

 

 

 

The thief clutches two grimy white envelopes in his limp hand, the word "SBURB" emblazoned across them in burning green neat-set type. 

 

Vimes picks them up, though every little niggling policeman's instinct screams at him to run, to find Carrot or Angua or even bloody Colon for help first. Curiosity kills any number of coppers. 

 

Inside each of the envelopes is a disc, the color of gleaming metal on the back, smooth white on the front. If they weren't so damn light he'd think silver, maybe. 

 

"PLAY ME," the discs say. It's written on the white pure surface. It's echoing through his mind.

 

Vimes straightens up, tucks the envelopes into his coat.

 

It's going to be a long night.

 

 

=====

 

Hello, insertnameHere! You have created the memo WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE.

 

Would you like to invite anyone to join the memo?

IH: NO. NO I WOULD NOT.

IH: I WOULD LIKE YOU TO EXPLAIN WHY THE CITY IS ON FIRE.

IH: I MEAN, MORE THAN USUAL.

 

You have requested information on WHY THE CITY IS ON FIRE. Would you like to know the quantity of the fire, or the degrees of heat the fire is currently at? Would you like for me to call the Watch?

 

IH: I AM THE BLOODY WATCH YOU INFERNAL MACHINE.

IH: THERE IS LITERALLY NO ONE MORE "THE WATCH" THAN ME. 

IH: SPEAKING OF THE WATCH

IH: WHERE'S CARROT? AND FRED? AND NOBBY?

 

insertnameHere, I believe you'll see that CORPORAL NOBBY NOBBS is currently standing directly to your left! 

 

IH: WHAT

IH: WHAT IS THAT

IH: WHY IS IT WINKING AT ME

IH: WHY IS IT GLOWING AND FLOATING

IH: THAT'S NOT NOBBY THAT'S SOME SORT OF WIZARDLY MEDDLING.

IH: I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE RIDCULLY A VERY STERN TALKING TO.

IH: HMM, OR MAYBE HAVE CARROT DO IT INSTEAD. OR SYBIL ...

IH: NO. FIRST THINGS FIRST.

IH: IS THAT A HUGE FLAMING ROCK HEADED RIGHT FOR THE WATCH HOUSE OR DID I EAT ONE OF DIBBLER'S SAUSAGES AND BLOCK OUT THE MEMORY. 

 

Hello, insertnameHere! You have enquired re: A HUGE FLAMING ROCK. After consulting with your SPRITE, COLONEL NOBBY NOBBS, I have determined that said rock is headed right towards us, and is likely to kill us immediately on impact!

 

IH: OH HELL.